Your Emails Get Deleted. It’s Not the Copy.
Crafting messages that actually get read, replied to, and remembered.
Collecting
You send cold emails.
Sales, marketing, business development—it doesn’t matter. You’re reaching out to people who don’t know you, trying to get them to care.
And most of them delete your email without reading it.
You know this. Open rates are brutal. Reply rates are worse.
So you try harder. Maybe you even ask AI to write one for you.
Perfect AIDA—attention-grabbing subject line, interest-building hook, desire-creating body copy, clear call to action.
Still gets ignored.
Because you’re sending it to the wrong people.
Or you’re sending it to too many people.
Most salespeople think their customer is anyone who’ll talk to them.
That’s late-night-at-the-club desperation.
Malcolm Gladwell knows exactly who his reader is.
Guy on a plane. Opens Trader Joe’s stores. Two kids. Reads three books a year. Business school degree. Gladwell thinks about him every time he writes.
Patagonia’s Yvon Chouinard built his company for himself and his dirtbag climbing buddies. Then scaled it by understanding exactly who those customers were—smart people with money, not much time, and no interest in shopping.
You need to know who it’s for.
Not “anyone in tech.”
Not “CMOs with budget.”
Get specific.
Twenty percent of your targets will drive eighty percent of your results.
Find that twenty percent. Focus there.
Collecting — Know who it’s for before you write a word
Connecting
Now you stalk them.
Yes, I’m telling you to cyberstalk them. Not like a psycho. Just enough to understand what they do and how you might help.
Follow them on social. Read their blog. Set Google alerts. See what they’re working on, what they care about, what matters right now.
This is the good kind of stalking you don’t hear about on the news.
Your kid gets a new Little League coach—you’re Googling them.
This is the same thing.
You need to warm up the approach. Cold outreach stinks and doesn’t work. So make it warmer.
I grew up in Burien, Washington. Small city south of Seattle. When I mention it on calls and someone else knows it, that’s an instant connection. My coworkers call it “The Burien Drop.”
That’s what you’re looking for.
The thing that makes someone stop and think: Wait, who is this person?
Being from New York? Everyone’s from New York.
Being from Brooklyn and both living in Williamsburg in 2009 before it got ridiculous? That’s different.
Adam Grant didn’t tell Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh “we went to the same college.”
He mentioned the Quincy Grille—their shared student-run concession stand.
Much more powerful.
Most people won’t do this homework.
It takes time. Real curiosity about another human being.
That’s exactly why it works.
Connecting — Stalk before you talk, find what matters
Crafting
Now you write the email.
And sure—you could ask AI to do it for you. It’ll give you perfect structure:
- Attention — subject line that gets opened
- Interest — first line that hooks
- Desire — body that builds the case
- Action — clear next step
That’s AIDA. It works. It’s been working since the 1800s.
But here’s where most people screw it up:
Interest isn’t about making your product sound interesting.
It’s about being interested in them.
Most people take that slot and dump in features.
“Our AI-powered platform leverages machine learning to optimize your workflow…”
Delete.
Interest comes from showing you know who they are and what they care about.
That’s why you did the work in Collecting.
That’s why you stalked them in Connecting.
You can’t manufacture interest with clever copy.
You earn it by proving you actually know something about them.
AIDA without Collecting and Connecting is just another cold email that sounds like every other cold email.
This book breaks down what actually works.
Not templates you copy-paste.
Principles you can apply anywhere you need a stranger to care.
Real examples. Emails that worked—and why. Emails that bombed—and why.
Crafting — Interest isn’t about you
Caring
You sent the email.
Now what?
Most people “circle back” or “just checking in.”
That’s a burden, not a benefit.
Caring means doing the work so they don’t have to.
Leading with value. Making deposits before you ask for withdrawals.
This isn’t about being soft.
It’s about being useful.
I spent twenty years watching people fail at follow-up—not because they didn’t care, but because they only cared about closing.
One email doesn’t build a relationship.
Neither does a hundred generic check-ins.
But a few well-timed, valuable touches?
That changes everything.
Caring — Value over volume
Committing
Mind the gap.
That’s the space between sending the note and getting the response.
Between the first touch and the closed deal.
Between stranger and partner.
Most people quit too early.
Or they spam too hard.
Committing isn’t about persistence.
It’s about consistency.
Showing up with value. Staying in the conversation. Not because you’re desperate—but because you believe the relationship matters.
You can keep sending emails fast and hoping volume saves you.
Or you can read this book and fix the problem.
It’s short. You can finish it in an afternoon.
Applying it? That’s the real work.
Listen: Audible | Apple | Spotify
Learn More: YouTube
Committing — The choice is yours
One More Thing
If you want to practice, send me an email.
dave@winwithflynn.com
Subject: Passing Notes to Dave
I’ll reply to a few each week with areas of improvement.
No automation. No empty promises. Just practice.
