Your Emails Get Deleted. It’s Not the Copy.
Crafting messages that actually get read, replied to, and remembered.
Collecting
You picked someone to reach out to.
Now what?
Most people fire off an email immediately.
“Hey, saw your post about X…”
Generic. Forgettable. Deleted.
You need to do your homework first.
Malcolm Gladwell doesn’t just know his reader buys books at airports. He knows what that reader cares about, what problems keep them up at night, what they’ve been thinking about lately.
Adam Grant didn’t just know Tony Hsieh went to Harvard. He knew Tony ran the Quincy Grille—a specific detail most people would miss.
This is Collecting.
Dig into their LinkedIn. Read their blog. Check their recent posts. See what they’re working on, what they’re proud of, what matters to them right now.
You’re looking for uncommon commonalities.
Not “we both went to state schools.”
“We both captained debate teams at Tennessee state schools and both remember those brutal regionals in Knoxville.”
That’s different.
Most people won’t do this work.
They’ll skim a profile and send a templated email.
That’s exactly why doing the homework works.
Collecting — Do your homework
Connecting
You’ve done your homework. You know who they are.
Now warm up the approach.
Cold outreach sucks. So make it warmer.
Follow them on LinkedIn. Like a few posts. Leave a thoughtful comment. Subscribe to their newsletter. Retweet something they wrote.
Not spam. Not every post. Just enough that when you do reach out, there’s a chance they’ve seen your name before.
This is the social media equivalent of showing up at the same coffee shop.
You’re making yourself familiar.
When Adam Grant finally emailed Tony Hsieh about the Quincy Grille, it wasn’t coming from a complete stranger. Grant had been engaging with Hsieh’s content, showing up in his world.
Most people skip this step.
They go straight from research to cold email.
That’s like walking up to someone at a bar and asking them to marry you.
Put in a few touches first.
Make your name recognizable.
So when they see your email, there’s a flicker of “Wait, I’ve seen this person before.”
That flicker is the difference between delete and open.
Connecting — Stalk before you talk
Crafting
Now you write the email.
And sure—you could ask AI to do it for you. It’ll give you perfect structure:
- Attention — subject line that gets opened
- Interest — first line that hooks
- Desire — body that builds the case
- Action — clear next step
That’s AIDA. It works. It’s been working since the 1800s.
But here’s where most people screw it up:
Interest isn’t about making your product sound interesting.
It’s about being interested in them.
Most people take that slot and dump in features.
“Our AI-powered platform leverages machine learning to optimize your workflow…”
Delete.
Interest comes from showing you know who they are and what they care about.
That’s why you did the work in Collecting.
That’s why you stalked them in Connecting.
You can’t manufacture interest with clever copy.
You earn it by proving you actually know something about them.
AIDA without Collecting and Connecting is just another cold email that sounds like every other cold email.
This book breaks down what actually works.
Not templates you copy-paste.
Principles you can apply anywhere you need a stranger to care.
Real examples. Emails that worked—and why. Emails that bombed—and why.
Crafting — Interest isn’t about you
Caring
You sent the email.
Now what?
Most people “circle back” or “just checking in.”
That’s a burden, not a benefit.
Caring means doing the work so they don’t have to.
Leading with value. Making deposits before you ask for withdrawals.
This isn’t about being soft.
It’s about being useful.
I spent twenty years watching people fail at follow-up—not because they didn’t care, but because they only cared about closing.
One email doesn’t build a relationship.
Neither does a hundred generic check-ins.
But a few well-timed, valuable touches?
That changes everything.
Caring — Value over volume
Committing
Mind the gap between stranger and partner.
Between the first touch and the closed deal.
Between stranger and partner.
Most people quit too early.
Or they spam too hard.
Committing isn’t about persistence.
It’s about consistency.
Showing up with value. Staying in the conversation. Not because you’re desperate—but because you believe the relationship matters.
You can keep sending emails fast and hoping volume saves you.
Or you can read this book and fix the problem.
It’s short. You can finish it in an afternoon.
Applying it? That’s the real work.
Committing — The choice is yours
Listen: Audible | Apple | Spotify
Learn More: YouTube
One More Thing
If you want to practice, send me an email.
dave@winwithflynn.com
Subject: Passing Notes to Dave
I’ll reply to a few each week with areas of improvement.
No automation. No empty promises. Just practice.
