In The Quality Trap, I told the story of Brad, a customer I assumed was after quality—only to realize he was chasing something more elusive. Lightning in a bottle. That experience taught me a key lesson: what customers say and what they do, don’t always match. And it sparked a bigger question—why do customers really buy?
Most salespeople don’t ask. They don’t really care. The purchase order comes through, the check clears, and their Net Promoter Score keeps climbing.
Good enough, right? On to the next one.
But understanding why they buy is important. Not just why they buy a product or service—but the bigger question—why they buy it from you.
During the sales cycle, before prospects commit, you’re naturally curious. Do they use something similar? If so, how do they like it? How can it be improved?
You’re probing for possibility.
Are they already sold on the idea? Do you need to pitch the product itself, or just convince them to buy it from you?
It’s a fundamentally different question, requiring a completely different approach.
Creating Markets
When I started in the consulting industry, most prospects I spoke with had no clue what I was talking about. They’d never used staffing, consulting, outsourcing, or nearshore services. They didn’t understand why it would be useful. I wasn’t just selling the service—I was selling the idea.
In a way, I was selling the whole industry.
Think about Henry Ford and the Model T. If he was selling to someone on a horse, he might, because of his killer pitch, sell them on the idea of a car—any car, not just a Ford.
“Here is why you should ditch that horse and get yourself a Ford” sounds an awful lot like “here’s why you should ditch that horse and buy a car” to someone on a buggy.
And it’s pretty close to the truth.
Tesla has done it for EVs—not just leading the way in technology and engineering, turning cars into iPhones on wheels, but selling people on the idea of going electric. And the legacy automakers, as well as Rivian and BYD, have ridden that wave.
Starbucks did the same. They left a wake that independent coffee roasters and cafés have been riding for the last 40 years. They created an industry by selling people on the idea. What should we do, where should we meet? Starbucks!
New market entrants have piggybacked on the success of these companies, and their ability to sell ideas, to build their own businesses.
The Real Difference
But if they’re already buyers—users of the product category—the conversation runs in a different direction. It’s not about horses versus cars anymore, or why a barista beats your Folgers Crystals. Those differences are obvious. The difference between similar ideas, similar options, can be harder to put your finger on.
And here’s the rub: those differences feel pretty substantial to the seller, but to a buyer? It’s mostly the same.
I know you have a preference between Coke and Pepsi, but for the uninitiated, they’re 99.9% identical.
“Tastes like chicken” can really sting if you’re busting your ass to establish crickets as the worlds next viable protein source.
In an undifferentiated market, the differentiator is you—the salesperson. But it’s not the difference you might think.
It’s not necessarily your savvy or your business acumen keeping a customer around—they might just be too lazy to switch.
It’s not your killer personality that’s boxing out the competition—they just like working with a single supplier.
And it might not be your monthly lunch, (the one that gets them in hot water with procurement)—it could be that you’re a pushover.
The Easy Way Out
When I was selling, my VP would relay feedback like, “Dave is so easy to work with!” and I loved it. I took pride in it.
Easy to work with sounds pretty good, right? But what the hell does it mean?
Don’t believe me? Imagine I say your sister is “easy to work with.” How does that land? Not quite the compliment you thought, is it?
I wasn’t the industry floozy, was I? Who knows. The bills got paid, they kept calling me back, so I never asked.
Understanding why they buy is critical. If you don’t understand their motives, you don’t know if you can—or should—be their provider.
If you’ve been hired for all the wrong reasons, you might need to fire your best customer—God knows they won’t do it.
“Easy to work with” sounds good on the surface, just like “quality” did with Brad. But unless you understand what’s driving those words—what they really mean to your customer—you’re just guessing.
The truth is, customers buy for their reasons, not yours. They might choose you because you’re truly better, or because you’re conveniently located, or because you let them chase lightning in a bottle. Your job isn’t to change their reasons—it’s to understand them. To understand why they really buy.
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