How do you win friends and influence people?
You can read the book. But then what?
Practice.
When I first got into sales, I memorized the playbook, made flashcards, and practiced. I’d do both voices, the client and me. I’d run lines back in the mirror. Practice my most sincere “Oh wow that’s interesting” along with a tone that said, “You can trust me.”
Puke.
But those lines, strategies, and the canned answers can only take you so far. They don’t build relationships and trust.
You’ll need to practice in a different way. You’ll need to practice in real life. In the wild.
If you want to be a better listener and a better communicator. You’ve got to do it and see it in all things. Not just when you are on the clock.
You’ve got to be like my Nana.
Nana was the queen of Point Loma, San Diego. She knew everyone. Not just their names, but where they were from. She knew their wife and kids and what they loved. She knew them all. From the butcher to the banker. All of them.
She practiced this daily, it was in her DNA, but people today are not genuine like my Nana.
Maybe they should be.
So, I changed from trying to memorize tactics to a more simplistic approach that is five times harder and ten times better. I tried being a genuine human. The person who added value, made people feel good, and gained trust.
You can be a human too.
That means when I went to get my hair cut, I wasn’t reading a magazine or yapping away about my vacation, I was asking questions and learning about the market, the business, and the challenges.
When I went to the pub I was learning about the customers and the supply chain and the throughput for takeout.
And when the yard guy came, I was getting the scoop on hiring and firing and quality management.
You can learn from all these people, and you can help them if you can listen to them.
The more I engaged in these conversations the better I got at them, and soon I was seeing ways to help all people all the time.
And something changed at work when I did that. It all became much easier. As opposed to sticking to the script and offering a standard cadence to clients, I had more threads to pull, more experiences to build from, and could better assist them with their path forward.
As you look at ways to improve things for your stakeholders, use the view that my Nana had, and look to be that person full-time.
No act. No script. Just you.
Listening and learning and offering support to all people, all the time.
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