I Know, Right!?!

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“It is impossible to learn that which one thinks one already knows.”

-Epictetus

Asking for help can be hard. Admitting what you don’t know might be harder.

You’re probably nodding your head, thinking “I know, right!?!”

But do you really? When was the last time you admitted you didn’t know something?

That insidious habit of telling yourself and others that you “know” is limiting your ability to admit when you don’t. It’s impacting your chances of receiving the help that you need.

So knock it off.

There is a difference between having heard something before and truly knowing it. If Dan Carlin starts to tell me about World War II, and I keep interrupting him, saying, “I know,” he might get a little annoyed. He might choose to spend his time elsewhere. And if he does, I’ll have lost a wonderful opportunity.

Dan Carlin's Hardcore History does not start the research process by saying "I know."

I recently gave a book to someone. It was about health and longevity. They didn’t finish it. Said they “knew all of it.”

This person was not particularly healthy.

So what does it mean to know? Is having heard enough? Or is it deeper?

If you don’t act on the information, do you really know it?

I don’t think you do.

You don’t really know your neighbor if it’s just a wave over the fence. You don’t know the mountains if all you can do is point them out on the map. And you don’t know about cold plunges just by reading about the benefits.

Even Carlin would yield to someone with a first-hand account.

“I know” isn’t as braggable as we think. Maybe the real flex is “I do.”

I don’t like missing opportunities like the Dan Carlin one, so I’m working to save my “I knows” for the things I really do know. Which, the more I noodle on it, is not as much as I think.

As our island of knowledge grows, so does our shoreline of ignorance.

“I know” is relative.

People do it unconsciously, they say, “I know,” when what they really mean is “you don’t say” or “how interesting.”

They’ll say “I know” to all sorts of wild things they had no clue about.

“I know” is reflexive. And it’s performative.

When you get in the habit of telling everyone how much you already know, you close your mind to the infinite world of things you don’t, and that can be a real drag. It can be a drag for your career, your growth, and for the people around you that are more than willing to help you out, but not if you already know.

“I know” is limiting.

What we’re really after, instead of being a know-it-all, is a learn-it-all. Positioning yourself as that learn-it-all, as it turns out, is really endearing. And it’s helpful. It primes your mind to be open to learning opportunities.

This requires you trade out all of those “I know’s” for “tell me more’s.”

People love teaching to a receptive audience.

And that can be your superpower. To take what they are uniquely qualified to teach and absorb it. The knowledge is all there for you to have, but first you’ve got to admit what you don’t know.

Which is quite a lot.

I know, right?!?

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